TheSpaceCow was born at a very young age to indigent Gypsy parents who couldn't afford to keep him: after being found in the forest and raised by wolves, he enrolled in the local Academy for Pale Young Geniuses, where he excelled as both geek and jock. However, he soon grew bored of shoving himself into lockers and attempted to make a name for himself in the exciting field of armed robbery.
Though offered a scholarship through the state's Young Convict Diversion Program, theSpaceCow already knew his true love lay elsewhere. He spent a few disappointing years as as a male stripper's understudy, gained a following as a televangelist, then began wandering the southeast as a nomadic martial arts expert in search of the man who killed his father.
He writes software in Atlanta, GA with the assistance of an adorable poofy-tailed cat. In times of emergency, he can kill a rhino with his bare hands. sometimes he does, just for fun. He also really enjoys talking about himself in the third person.